The Virus Known as Man

"In a sense, the Earth is mounting an immune response against the human species. It is beginning to react to the human parasite, the flooding infections of people, the dead spots of concrete all over the planet, the cancerous rot-outs in Europe, Japan, and the United States, thick with replicating primates, the colonies enlarging and spreading and threatening to shock the biosphere with mass extinctions. Perhaps the biosphere does not “like” the idea of five billion humans. Or it could also be said that the extreme amplification of the human race, which has occurred only in the past hundred years or so, has suddenly produced a very large quantity of meat, which is sitting everywhere in the biosphere and may not be able to defend itself against a life form that might want to consume it. Nature has interesting ways of balancing itself. The rainforest has its own defense system, so to speak, has recognized the presence of the human species and is starting to kick in. The earth is attempting to rid itself of an infection by the human parasite. Perhaps AIDS is the first step in a natural process of clearance."
From Richard Preston's: The Hot Zone

X-mas Comic

This is a most amusing comic strip. For more X-mas cheer visit www.savagechicken.com

Encyclopedia T-Rex

28 Smurfs Later

The Purple Smurfs, first aired on October 31, 1981 was and still is the most terrifying cartoon ever made. It all began while Handy was out cutting wood in the forest. He initiates a conflict with some sort of flying insect which bits his ass and turns him into a hopping purple monster. The Smurfs discover and subdue Handy but it isn’t long until they loose containment and the virus begins to spread. This malady is spread by the bit of the infected on the ass of their victim

who in turn seeks other Smurf bottoms to nibble upon. Much like a Romero Movie or 28 Days Later, the infected spread throughout the entire society. Papa Smurf is the last bitten, fortunately he has already discovered the cure, which is dropped whereby it enters the atmosphere and cures every Smurf saving the day. At least I think that’s how it happened, I was five years old when I saw the episode and it has haunted me ever since. Thanks Hanna-Barbera!

This You Tube video includes some footage from "The Purple Smurf" episode but is set againts music; one of those music video things people on youtube do. It's catchy and I couldn't find the real episode. You should be thankful; this way you'll have fewer nightmares.

Destroyers of democracy strike again

This video complements the one posted yesterday. Relating to the real take over of media sources by homogeneous corporations who specialize in junk news or infotainment.

Anarchist are entertainment

This whole video pirating thing is hella funny. If you watch the you tube videos on the side bar it gets even funnier. Peter Jennings sounds down right angry whereas Dan Rather seems amused. The guy who wanted to punch his television is of special interest. He must have really wanted to watch his show. The again, imagine if someone stood in front of the screen complaining about ticket prices at your local theater. No one is that suicidal, although, if they did it before the lights went down I suppose it would be alright.

Inspired by an awsome site.

http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=776#more-776

Dopplganger

After his escape from Alcatraz John Anglin (right) stole the identity of a young alchoholic named George W Bush. The Bush family, well know for their intellect, never detected the switch. Today John Anglin enjoys the presidency of the USA.

A New Faith

The scientologists pick the wrong science fiction writer as their prophet. They should have selected Larry Nevin whose characters (the belters) know how to honor their dead. In lieu of (or perhaps in addition to) a wake for their dead, Belters have a custom known as the ceremonial drunk. When a Belter dies, his or her close friends will typically get intoxicated (either alone or in groups according to one's nature or circumstance) and reminisce about the deceased. I also appreciate their religion involving the worship of the dread god Finagle and his mad prophet Murphy.

I am Legend

First there was Vincent Price, star of the 1964 classic "The Last Man on Earth". This movie more than any other follows the Richard Matheson book "I am Legend" published ten years earlier. Like all movies the basic plot

was tweeked giving birth to "Omega

Man" in 1971. The sedate vampires

fought by Price are replaced with in vouge mutans for Charlton Heston to shoot up. Omega Man is obviously the inspiration for an excelent White Zombie toon.

"I Am Legend"

Yeah, when I'm in the sky - I'm too far away - Gotta kick in to feel it - Terminate another no one is my brother yeah! The sun burns on me Well, hell is home tomb - city - stone - nail me to another cross (yeah!) Pour the gasoline, yeah burn the fucker clean - Tell me who'd she coo I want her - Like a suicide flex - hit the run and hide!Tell me who'd she coo shine the body! Yeah...Omega-man say, "It's all gone away, I cannot believe it."Well I am the one a god with a gun I am Legend!! Planet - grave - hard - kill the slave - nail me to another cross (yeah!) Pour the gasoline, yeah burn the fucker clean, Tell me who'd she coo I want her - Like a suicide flex - hit the run and hideTell me who'd she coo shine the body- vampire sharpshooter "O" I said, "A messenger for the damned" - I got a holy gun - come a loaded to kill everything that I am. Well I am the only nitty-grittyride a rail and look at the crime - yeah! well I am the only (god?) one they can - find. Pour the gasoline, yeah burn the fucker clean - Tell me who'd she coo I want her- Like a suicide flex - hit the run and hide! Tell me who'd she coo shine the body - yeah!

As everything following this specific genre has kicked ass one can only assume Will Smith live up to expectations and deliver his usual stellar preformance to "I am Legend" the 2007 version.

A Thanksgiving Tale

Defeated, the leviathan drifted aimlessly through deep space. Frozen shards of carbon and water encased her once powerful wings, only her mind is aware of the dim yellow star into whose gravity well she now sink. Months pass into years as she draws closer to the star, not unlike the one from whence she was exiled. The outer rim was to be her tomb for eternity; but for a rough comet she would still gaze onto her own distant sun. Eons in space had failed to freeze her radioactive core, only time would end her; her antagonizes were all to aware of this. In victory the featherless apes had lured her from her planets warming shell of air. They had used her rage against her! Murderers, destroyers of her offspring! Vengeance, the only impulse that remained. Shards melt from her wings, a trail of dust mirrors her wrath. Her mind speaks only of revenge. A small blue green orb catches her attention, an orb like her own. The madness begins to overwhelm her reason, vengeance, these are those who imprisoned us . They would not expect her return. Overwhelmed by his good fortune, Tye wore his heart on his sleeve this day. Not only was he included on Earths first manned deep space mission, he was to lead it. Eleven other astronauts of varying scientific background would test the limits of the new ion pulse drive on the trip to Jupiter and back; a journey that would be accomplished in a mere two months. Not since the first manned voyage to Mars had tensions run so high. The ion pulse drive would allow humankind to do more than plant a flag on the Red planet, it marked the beginning of interplanetary colonization. Launch date for the Enterprise was knowingly scheduled for October 15, to avoid any interference from the passing of Comet Plymouth. Never again would ISEA (International Space Exploration Association) allow online voters the choose the name of a ship. "Systems check, Scotty, how do those engines look?" Chief Engineer Suvra softly sighed as she checked the readings of the ion-pulse drive. "Everything is go here Jon and can we please stop with the Star Trek jokes." Laughing Jon looked to Commanded Tye, "Just trying to relieve the pressure Sir." "Yes Jon, your levity is appreciated. Now prepare for separation from the station, lets see what this heap of bolts can do." "Sir?" "Levity Jon." The Enterprise sped steadily toward the Moon in preparation to use its gravity to sling-shot them toward deep space where the pulse drive would be fully engaged. In under two weeks time They would enter orbit around Jupiter for the study of her many moons. For the past twelve years Carl had been waiting for some recognition of his discovery. An unexpected comet that would pass between the Moon and the Earth. At last, mere weeks before its arrival he would begin doing rounds as the medias waning interest in the Enterprise mission sought fresh meat. "Yes, it will be the show of a life time. The dust from the comets tail will be a meteor show no one will be able to miss. The night skies will be alight." Always the same question and answers. Carl found himself wishing he had never discovered Plymouth. One would think they might inquire into the years of study necessary to calculate the precise arrival of Plymouth, the hours in the observatory, along, staring into the void. The fact that it would pass closest to Earth on the third Thursday of November delighted them. They seemed to think it was so easy, that math involved would have melted their soulless eyes in their sockets. Carl sighed, rubbing the anger from his brow he lamented himself to his role as a circus clown for these mindless automatons masquerading as purveyors of information. "As if." He said to the empty room. "This is the dog and pony show I felt deprived of upon my discovery of Plymouth. Should have named it more fashionably." Alas, thought Carl, my first calculations showed Plymouth Rock was going to land on us, that would have made the joke work. Near miss my ass. The ice casings around her wings were weakening as she approached the blue-green orb. One great effort to spread them, another would shake loose the ice and propel her into the atmosphere. Like a dying angel she fell towards the surface, turning her gargantuan form around in mid air she spread her wings gathering the air until it exploded with thunder about her great form. A billion eyes wached in amazment quickly turned to fear, then terror. She hear their screams and laughed. Vengence shal be mine.

Flying machines, similar yet some how different filled the sky around Turkey-zilla. She casually crushed one in her mighty beak, breaking through the metal shell, savoring the sweet blood of those crushed within. The ground below her began to wail as fallout shelter sirens sounded. Behind her the sky burst into flame as the remains of her tomb burnt upon the Earths atmosphere. Below, dumbfounded, her victims looked to the sky in horror. "It's Armageddon!" some screamed. The more rational trying to calm their brethren while pondering this unfamiliar phenomenon. The narration Carl had been giving to a national news syndicate abruptly refocused electronic eyes.
The reporter quickly turned to Carl for an explanation. Looking directly into the camera, Carl laughingly said, "It appears Plymouth has landed in us." Still smiling Carl said, "Get it?"
Turk-zilla swooped low over the fleeing crowds breathing a toxic cloud of weapons grad tryptophan; below people fell into an eternal slumber. The armies of the world slowly recovered from their initial disbelief and released their arsenals upon Turk-zilla. Nothing seemed able to knock her from the sky as she lazily circled the globe breathing her toxic fumes.
In desperation the ISEA sent a message to Enterprise appraising Tye of the situation on Earth.
"I still think it's some kind of joke." said Jon. "A giant turkey swoops down onto earth brining Armageddon on Thanksgiving Day. I suppose the Packers won as well."
"No Jon," said Tye, "this is no joke."
Suvra smirked, "The Pack has not won a T-Day game since 2019." A general chuckle ran through the group.
"So Captain, what are our orders?"
"We return to Earth. This turkey takes special pleasure in attacking our flying machines. It's ground controls hope we can lure it out of Earths atmosphere and hopefully follow us into the sun where it will be sucked into the gravity well and destroyed."
Within minutes the Enterprise heads off on its new trajectory to Earth. Two long weeks pass on Earth. Turk-zilla prepares a nest for her eggs atop Mount Fuji. Having received information regarding Turk-zilla where about the Enterprise takes up position in a low earth orbit above Mt. Fuji.
"Has it taken the bait?" asked Suvra the Captain.
" Not yet. Jon bring us in as close as you can and increase our output of ion radiation."
Turk-zilla sees them, she remembers. Leaping from the mountain top she screams toward this new threat.
"We got her!" yelled Tye "Punch the engines to full power."
Turk-zilla blindly pursues them into the sun.
The End

Has to be joke

Bob Rocks!

Choose your own adventure..comic

Halloween posponed; now airing bordom.

Hopefully this image will help undermine the anger felt by all those like myself. As it FOX would air a stupid baseball game instead of a Simpsons Halloween episode. HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD!?

Open Source

xkcd comic

Happy Birthday to the late Bob Kane

Yooper song

Ole Pete Bateese
from "Lore of the Lumbercamps"
Ole Pete Bateese got chase one night
By wolf up by de Soo
Dese wolf dey t'ree, four in de pack
And dey scare him tru and tru.

Pretty soon ole Pete climb up a tree;
He t'ink he stay awhile.
Dese wolf dey sit down in de snow
And lick dere chops and smile.

Pretty quick two wolf go trot away;
Pete t'ink de rest soon go.
Pretty quick dese wolf come right back;
Pete's spirits dey sink low.

For w'at you t'ink dese wolf dey got?
Big beaver—one? No—two!
Dey set dem down beside dat tree
And say, "by gar, now chew."

Dose beaver start in chew dat tree;
Dey chew like beat de band.
Pete t'ink he soon be on de groun'
Unless he take a hand.

So Pete pull out his one-quart hooch
And let it run out slow.
It trickle down de trunk to where
Dose beaver chew below.

Dose beaver dey get drunk, by gar.
Dey don't see none too good.
Dey make mistake and chew de wolf
Instead of chew de wood.

Dose wolf run 'way, and Pete climb down
And sit down in de snow.
And cry and cry to t'ink for where
His one-quart hooch she go.

From Mark Twain's "A Pen Warmed in Hell"

Battle Hymn of the Republic (Brought Down to Date 1900)

Mine eyes have seen the orgy of the launching of the sword;
He is searching out the hoardings where the stranger's wealth is stored;
He hath loosed his fateful lightnings, and with woe and death has scored;
His lust is marching on.

I have seen him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps;
They have builded him an altar in the Eastern dews and damps;
I have read his boomful mission by the dim and flaring lamps--
His night is marching on.

I have read his bandit gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with pretensions, so with you my wrath shall deal;
Let the faithless son of Freedom crush the patriot with his heel;
Lo, greed is marching on!"

We have legalized the strumpet and are guarding her retreat;
Greed is seeking out commercial souls befor his judgment seat;
O, be swift, ye clods, to answer him! be jubilant my feet!
Our god is marching on!

In a sorid slime harmonious, Greed was born in yonder ditch,
With a longing in his bosom--and for others' goods an itch--
As Christ died to make men holy, let men die to make us rich--
Our god is marching on. Mark Twain

Lenin the nihilist

I recently read The Life and Death of Lenin by Robert Payne and thought I would transcribe a short excerpt that I found amusing. Oh, Krupskaya is Lenin's wife. The story is as follows:

In the spring of 1915 Krupskaya's mother died. There is a story that one night Krupskaya left her vigil by here mother's bedside and went to bed, after asking her husband to wake her if her mother needed her. Lenin went on working. During the night his mother-in-law died. When Krupskaya awoke the next morning to find her mother dead, she turned to hewr husband and asked him why he failed to wake her. "You Told me to wake you if your mother needed you," Lenin answered. "She died. She didn't need you." (pg. 250)

If you decide to read a biography on Lenin, I would recomend a differnt author. Payne tends to run on with his sentences. He also leaves out world events where most other authors would make reference to for the sake of historical context. I do like the statue of the monkey looking at the human skull, it sat on Lenin's desk.

Ego Trip

If I were to, for some reason, have the opportunity to name an NEO (Near Earth Object), a large asteroid, an Earth Killer if you will, I would name it after myself. What an ego trip. News readers around the world, voices quivering in fear, repeating over and over again: "The best minds of the world are focusing all of their efforts to prevent Leif from destroying civilization as we know it. Though all of humanities resources are being utilized in the on going effort to stop Leif authorities warn us to prepare for the worst. So pray to whatever god you believe in because it appears nothing short of divine intervention can stop Leif from unleashing his wrath upon Earth." What an ego trip.